When I get stressed or overwhelmed, I'm not the type to dive into “my work.” Distractions and keeping busy aren't that effective for me. In fact, they make it harder. Instead, I need to be with the problem, take a break from as many things as I can, and fix whatever is not working. Usually, this doesn't entail a long, drawn out process, but only an acknowledgement of how I feel. For example, it pays to question why I'm in a bad mood. If I didn't get a restful sleep, I can find a moment to lie down for a rest during the day. If it's because I haven't eaten in awhile, I grab a snack or a make a meal. I'm giving my body what it needs instead of bulldozing through the day and ignoring my blues.
October brought many things to me, a good number of which were stressful and unpleasant. At first, it felt like the average stressors people deal with on any given day. They were such small things. I wasn't facing anything life-shattering. Soon the weight of it began to hit, and I knew it was time to slow down. I was in need of some quiet.
During this rest with my messy mind, so many fulfilling things were happening in my life. I embarked on a life-changing road trip, celebrated a very important anniversary, and bonded more deeply with J over shared vegan dinners. These are some of the many things I've been anxiously waiting to share on this blog, but my thoughts were dedicated elsewhere at the time. I decided not to pressure myself to write on the blog until I felt like I could devote myself fully to each post written.
It was a crazy month of questions, but I'm ready to move beyond “being with it”. The blog wasn't the only thing that had a quiet period. The rest of my life was similarly unstructured. Some cool things came out of this break – which I've dubbed “my falliday” – , but I didn't arrive at any conclusions. I think in the beginning I was expecting to arrive at a few, but then I realized that I wasn't looking for closure but growth. It's happening. Right here, right now.